Management
Basic Conditions Of Employment Act Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. o If we see you wearing Gold chain, Nike sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. o If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. o If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. PERSONAL LEAVE DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. LUNCH BREAK: o Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. o Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. o Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. SICK DAYS: o We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. o If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. o At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, in the toilet o Paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. Please NO SMILING!!! o After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin category. Have a nice week. Management
Basic Conditions Of Employment Act Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. o If we see you wearing Gold chain, Nike sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. o If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. o If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. PERSONAL LEAVE DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. LUNCH BREAK: o Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. o Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. o Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. SICK DAYS: o We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. o If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. o At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, in the toilet o Paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. Please NO SMILING!!! o After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin category. Have a nice week. Management